Selah
by SelahSpinshadow
Summary: MakubeX feels the weight of leadership a little too keenly.


  
**Author's Note:** Written for **M** of The Game of Crack after listening to Lauryn Hill's "Selah" one too many times in a row.   
**Warnings:** post-first Mugenjou arc, floating-point continuity*, one-shot**   
**Disclaimer:** _GetBackers_ is the property of Yuuya Aoki and Rando Ayamine - I'm just borrowing the characters for awhile.   
_* This can be read as either game continuity or sidestepped canon continuity, particularly since there's no set time in which this happens, aside from some time after episode 26   
** I keep having problems with people asking for updates on finished fics. There's no more of this, nor sequel, nor plans for such._   
  


* * *

**Selah**

  
By the time Kazuki reached the system room that was the heart of MakubeX 's headquarters, his eyes had adapted to the low ambient light. The flickering active screens cast the room in pale blue-white light, shades of green flaring and dancing across one wall as code scrolled over a floating screen. It would be easy for another to miss the small figure hunched over a keyboard, to think nothing of the ignored tea or the relative silence lurking under the hum of a hundred fans. But for Kazuki who was always watching, the boy's lack of movement spoke louder than any words.   
  
"MakubeX?"   
  
"I've failed, Kazuki-san."   
  
"Failed?"   
  
"Ginji-san should have chosen you. You know how to lead, how to handle people. All I know are some clever computer tricks. Didn't the IL incident prove that? I'm not good at this. . . ."   
  
"I don't believe that," Kazuki murmured as he carefully settled beside the silver-haired boy.   
  
"But I do," MakubeX replied, unfocused eyes appearing to be lost in the calculations scrolling over the screen immediately in front of them. "I can't do it, Kazuki-san. I've tried to be what they all need, but . . . I'm so tired. . . ."   
  
Kazuki rested a hand on the curved back, not sure what to do to help his friend. He wasn't even sure what had happened. But the pain in MakubeX's posture wasn't something he could just ignore.   
  
"Why are you here, Kazuki-san?"   
  
"Can't a friend come to see you?"   
  
"Well, yes, but. . . ."   
  
"But? Something happened while I was Outside, didn't it?"   
  
"Try to be everyting they want, everything they need . . . but it's never enough. Nothing I do will ever be enough. . . ."   
  
"MakubeX. . . ."   
  
Kazuki hadn't expected the sudden movement that resulted in him having a lapful of sobbing MakubeX. Or the tears soaking into his shirt. His arms folded around the youth, willing relaxation into the tense frame. This pain felt familiar, something he had felt himself, something he had hoped MakubeX would never have to feel.   
  
"Shh . . . it'll be all right. . . ."   
  
"I just wish . . . I just wish everything could be back the way it was. I never wanted to be the leader. . . ."   
  
"I know. But I also know you can do this. Ginji and I both believe in you. You just need to believe in yourself."   
  
"I can't do this anymore, Kazuki-san. It hurts too much to lose. . . ."   
  
"Tell me?" Kazuki asked softly, smoothing the tails of MakubeX's headscarf. MakubeX shifted until he was more comfortably nestled against Kazuki, one hand wrapping around one of the small wraps. The thread master smiled down on his young friend, quietly encouraging him to share his burdens. Pale blue eyes drifted closed with a tired sigh, weary words tumbling out into the space between them. Silently offering himself and his support, Kazuki just held him and listened. He knew well that the life of a leader was never easy. As much as the young king tended to think of himself as being all alone. . . .   
  
"The choices I've made . . . they've been nothing but mistakes. I ruined everything the Volts had done and I'll never be able to fix it all again."   
  
"You did the best you could to hold things together, to try to buy freedom for everyone."   
  
"But. . . ."   
  
"You're not alone anymore, MakubeX . When it gets too hard . . . I'll always be here. All you have to do is ask."   
  
"Kazuki-san. . . ."   
  
Grateful tears shimmered in blue eyes that were too old for the boy's sixteen years. Kazuki brushed a light kiss against his friend's forehead, then hugged him close again. The era of the Volts had perhaps passed, but the threadspinner would still honor his commitment to his fellow king. Always. 


End file.
